3 Kids & Goenitz
by Yide
Summary: This is an OOC story involving the Orochi kids and Goenitz among others. It is set in the style of a tv show so expect it to be quite odd...
1. dabigasscity

Basic disclaimer, I don't own most of the characters as they are mostly either from KOF or Street Fighter.  
  
  
  
Generic sitcom music starts. "3 Kids and Goenitz" flashes across the screen. Pictures of New York, mostly in black and white, flash. Then the title again. More pictures. A giant letter Q. Then a picture Goenitz, Yashiro, Shermie and Chris doing the famous Beatle picture where they are walking across a cross walk. The title again, then fades to the living room of an apartment that's not in the best shape.  
  
Goenitz enters. (laugh track) Followed by Yashiro, Shermie and Chris.  
  
Goenitz-"One more payment and it's ours!" (laugh track)  
  
The door falls off it's hinges and the chandelier comes off the ceiling.  
  
Shermie-"Gee.....It's nice....." (laugh track)  
  
Chris(crosses arms)-"Nice? The bloody door fell off! And let's not forget the light. Why did we have to leave the farm anyway?"  
  
Yashiro-"I'll get the landlord to fix it."(leaves)  
  
Goenitz-"That's the spirit! Now Chris, you know the fuzz busted our farm. Apparently the world just wasn't ready for our new breed of radioactive pumpkins. (laugh track) Look on the bright side! Now that we're in the city, we can get into all sorts of crazy shenanigens!"  
  
Shermie-"Hm.....(looks around the room) When Yashiro get's back, we're gonna go to the hardware store and get some paint amongst other things. Anyone care to join?"  
  
Chris-"No, that's okay. I'll see if there are any kids here I can.....borrow......money from..hahaahaha."  
  
Goenitz-"That's the spirit!"  
  
Yashiro enters with an on-the-edge looking Italian guy carying a tool box.  
  
Zermeno-"You wan' for me to fix dis? IDONCAREWHACHOOWANMETOFIX!!! I fix now." (laugh track)  
  
Shermie (shakes head)-"Hey Yashiro, les go to the hardware store so we can get some stuff to make this dump into a smashing pad."  
  
Zermeno-"WHACHOODOTOPARTMENT!?!?!?!?! 'kay, I done."  
  
Leaves with out fixing anything. (laugh track) How does he keep his job?  
  
Yashiro-"Alright, but let's get some eat's first. Iori opened a resturaunt around here somewhere."  
  
Goenitz-"While you kids are gone, I will fix the door and get into crazy shenanigens!!!!!"  
  
Yashiro and Shermie exchange glances then quickly leave. Goenitz picks up a hammer. Fade out  
  
We enter in a resturaunt called 'Potatao in Chainmail' that's filled  
  
with people. The walls are decorated with road signs and King of Fighters banners Iori stole in the dead of night. A metallic sign saying 'Wall of Pain and Shame' was nailed to the top of a wall. Under it, is a dart board with Kyo's face and a list of why Shingo sucks. Groups of people are talking. Maxima and K' are in the corner talking about how much the 90210 kids in the opposite end of room suck. Yashiro and Shermie come in. Yashiro trips on a beat-up Kyo replica.  
  
Iori(looks up)-YASHIRO! SHERMIE! HOW'S IT BEEN!?!  
  
Stupid 90210 kid-"Hey, these groovin' tunes aren't that loud. Why are you disturbing the peace with all that yelling?"  
  
Iori-"SHUT UP DUMBASS!!!! WHEN YOU OWN A RESTURAUNT, YOU CAN YELL ALL THE DAMN TIME YOU WANT!!!!!!(laugh track) So anyway, how you guys been?"  
  
Yashiro-"Well, the bank foreclosed our radioactive farm, and Goenitz moved us out here."  
  
Shermie-"Yeah, our apartment is a dump. So Yashiro and I are going to buy  
  
some stuff to make it cool. After we sample your cuisine of course."  
  
Iori-"Ya know what? I got a drink I think you guys would really like. It's still in the experimental stages tho. I mixed 'Kyo will Die' and 'Sea of Blood' along with two more shots of rum and serve artisticly,  
  
I call it 'Kyo will Drown in a Sea of Blood', this is, masterpiece!"  
  
(laugh track)  
  
Shermie-"Sounds good."  
  
Yashiro-"Yeah, we'll get two of those and........what sandwiches are good?"  
  
Iori-"There's the 'Moonlight Madness' I think you'd enjoy, and the 'Lunatic Me' You'd probably like also."  
  
Shermie-"What's the differance between them?"  
  
Iori-"Don't tell anyone this, but the 'Lunatic Me' is just half the 'Moonlight Madness' and served upsidedown.(laugh track) Ya wanna try both?"  
  
Shermie-"Sure, why not?"  
  
Iori-"Alright, I'll have it ready in abit."  
  
Yashiro-"Cool, let's sit down. Hey! There's good ol' K' and Maxima!"  
  
Shermie-"Let's go talk to them."  
  
Yashiro and Shermie cross the floor to K' and Maxima's dark little corner.  
  
K'-"I hate those stupid punks from 90210. One of these day's, we'll have to kick their asses so they won't come 'round these parts no more"  
  
Maxima-"You said it little buddy."(Maxima takes off a boating captains hat and smacks K' over the head with it. BAM!  
  
Shermie-"Hey guys!"  
  
Yashiro-"Wazzup?"  
  
K'-(says in an almost singing way)"Heeyyy, Yashiro and Shermie. Iron fist Yashiro and the Sherminater... Dinin' in the potato..."(laugh track)  
  
Maxima-"Quiet little buddy!(Smacks him with hat again) So, what are you guys doing in New York?"  
  
Shermie-"It's a long story."  
  
K'-(Singing again)"Heeeyyy, the sherminator.....the Shermster has a long storay!"  
  
Yashiro-"Hey, what are those people from 90210 doin' in here?"  
  
Maxima-"I dunno. But one of these days Yashiro, one of these days...POW  
  
straight to the moon with 'em."  
  
K'-"Yeah, we're gonna kick thier pansy asses into submission some day."  
  
Yashiro- "Uh, that is okay with me, do you think Chris should steal a  
  
boat from somewhere, then we could pretend to be pirates, and Shermie  
  
could be the daring pirate-lass, Chris would be 'Swabby-Jim' the lovable  
  
cabin-boy. Oh, you could be Johannes' first mate."  
  
K', Max, Sherm, Ior- "Who in the hell is Johannes?"  
  
Yashiro- Oh, that is our 7-foot Icelandic man for security purposes..."  
  
K'- "You are THIS close Yashiro... to a MAJOR asskickin'."  
  
(K' "demonstrates" with his hands.)  
  
Iori puts their food on the table, and Shermie picks up the tall red beverage. She's about to take a sip when she sees the Kyo doll, bobbing aroung the ice cubes staring back at her. Yashiro chugges his drink, Kyo doll and all.  
  
Yashiro- "Oh, Iori, you can be the cook dude... who washes his hands very  
  
often and especially after using the head."  
  
Iori- "What is, 'the head'?"  
  
Yashiro- "That is what us Men of the Sea(does series of gestures) call the place of resting...the restroom, the crapshack, place of which dumping is permitted, aka - da' shit house." (laugh track, hootin' & hollerin')  
  
Maxima- "That was a strange idea, now let us get drunk and forget it."  
  
Entire group- "Hoo-ha!!" fade out  
  
We enter back in the resturaunt, but now we see it's dark outside. There's no one in there except for K', Maxima, Iori, Yashiro and Shermie. All of who are drunk and have passed out on the table.  
  
Yashiro(slowly coming to)-"Guh......Wha' time is it.....? Holy shit! It's 11:30! C'mon Shermie, we gotta get back to the place!"  
  
They leave. fade out  
  
The next sceane opens in a dark room. Yashiro and Shermie come in and turn on the lights. All of their furniture is nailed to the cieling.(laugh track) Goenitz is tied to an arm chair, hopelessly trying to sip tea that just splashes to the ground.  
  
Yashiro, Shermie-"WHATHEHELL?!?!?!!?!?!"  
  
Goenitz-"How do. Whilst you was gone, I got into one of the most peculiar of predicaments."  
  
Chris walks in from one of the bedrooms.  
  
Chris-"Uh....Who's here?"(His face turns to shock when he sees Goenitz.)  
  
Goenitz-"So, who will join me in my tea party on the ceiling?"(laugh track)  
  
Yashiro, Shermie, Chris-"Oh Goenitz! Hahahahahahahahaha!!!"  
  
(laugh track)  
  
Credits Roll.  
  
The Men without Jobs song plays. 


	2. Satan wants to see the meercats

Here is episode 2 "Satan wants to see the Meercats", now worship it like the relic that it is...  
  
If you use it as toilet paper, you have defied the Gods, and will very  
  
likely suffer their wrath next Thursday. The only way to read this is  
  
while listening to spanish guitar music. Go now, read today, time wastes.  
  
Goenitz, Yashiro, Shermie, Chris: The gang, the fab 4, the main cast  
  
Omega Rugal: Psychotic boss of King of Fighters '98, the coolest thing  
  
about him is a win pose where he slashes across his chest.  
  
Kim: He's a KOF character that most people think of as somewhat cool. Our opinion of him is no different. Long live Tae Kwon Do!!!  
  
Iori: Manager of the Potato in Chainmail / crazy psychopath  
  
Remy: Very thin guy, probably early 20's. Has long light-green hair that flows with the wind. He is from France.  
  
Hugo: Big, VERY BIG, like 7'+. He looks kinda like Andre the Giant. I think he's supposed to be Hungarian, though he fights in Germany in Street Fighter III: Third Strike  
  
K' & Maxima: Two Xtremely cool guys from KOF '99. 'Nuff said.  
  
90210 kids: Not worth the crap they're made of...  
  
  
  
Generic sitcom music starts. "3 Kids and Goenitz" flashes across the  
  
screen. Pictures of New York, mostly in black and white, flash.  
  
Then the title again. More pictures. A giant letter Q. Then a picture  
  
Goenitz, Yashiro, Shermie and Chris doing the famous Beatle picture  
  
where they are walking across a cross walk. The title again, followed  
  
by the subtitle, "Satan wants to see the meercats."  
  
Fades to Yashiro, Shermie, and Chris painting the walls of the living  
  
room white. The furniture is on the floor and covered with sheets,  
  
except for a table that is still nailed to the ceiling.  
  
Chris-"Whew, I'm thirsty."  
  
Yashiro-"Likewise. By the time we finish painting, Iori's will be  
  
open and we can stop by for some refreshments."  
  
Shermie-"Hey, we're almost out of paint. We'll have to buy some more  
  
as well."  
  
Goenitz walks in followed by a BIG ornery man.(clapping and cheering)  
  
Goenitz-"What's that? We're almost out of paint? Well then start painting faster before we run out. Oh wait, why was I here? Yes, I remember now. Look, I found good ol' Uncle Omega Rugal. Now you kids are gonna go to the zoo with him while I do some, uh, work......."  
  
Omega Rugal-"Come along children, Satan wants to see the meercats."  
  
(laugh track)  
  
Yashiro, Shermie, and Chris put down their paintbrushes and such,  
  
then follow Rugal out. faded out  
  
We enter at the zoo on a sunny morning. The place is infested with lots of little kids and families. Rugal looks more out of place than one of  
  
those, uh..., midgets, at a tall-dude convention...  
  
Chris-"DAMN! Little kids suck......"  
  
Omega Rugal-"HARHARHAR!!! Ya'll sure is funay'"  
  
They walk down the path until they came across the first animal  
  
exibit, the ancient and ever elusive beast...RISING ZAN!!! The samurai  
  
gun-man Yashiro picks up a dirt clod and throws it at Zan, hitting him  
  
in the face. Zan topples to the ground. (laugh track)  
  
Omega Rugal-"HARHARHAR!!! Deese animals here funay'!!! HARHARHAR!!"  
  
Shermie-"Hey! They're selling churros here! Les get some!"  
  
They walk to the churros stand and are greeted by the worker dude, Kim.  
  
(Clapping and cheering)  
  
Kim-"Howdy ya'll! Would ya'll lahk to trah dis hea' churro?"  
  
Shermie-"Kim! I thought you were Korean!"  
  
Kim-"Yeah. Sowlth Korean. (Laugh track) So ya wanna churro or naht?"  
  
Omega Rugal-"Don't sass me young man! We demand satisfaction! Now hand  
  
over all of your suitcases bearing a Zanzibar sticker and Destrega  
  
CD's."  
  
(Laugh track)  
  
Kim-"Uhwhanow? Ah only say-le churros."  
  
Yashiro-"Don't mind him, he's just out of his gourd. We'll take four  
  
churros, please."  
  
Kim (hands them food)-"Here ya'll go! Don't forget to see the meercats!"  
  
Omega Rugal (walking off towards the distance)-"Don't worry, we won't...  
  
We won't, oh no we won't... HARHARHAR!!" (Laugh track)  
  
The four didn't stop to see the other animals; they just kept walking  
  
'til they came to the end of the line! The meercat exhibit... destination.  
  
There is a man leaning on the rail screaming profanities at the meercats.  
  
Mystery man-"Ahhhhh....! You bloody ground weasels are the decline  
  
of western civilization! You and all o'yer Communist like!"  
  
(laugh track)  
  
Omega Rugal-"Well, someone's got their knickers in a twist."  
  
Yashiro-"Huh? That voice sounds familiar......"  
  
Shermie-"Can it be........?"  
  
Yashiro, Shermie-"IORI!!!!"  
  
The mystery man turns around. It is in fact, the man known as Iori.  
  
Iori- "Yo. Hey you'se guys, was' yo' fancy?"  
  
Yashiro-"Hey Iori, aren't you supposed to be opening your cafe in about....(checks his watch) now?" (laugh track)  
  
Iori-"Uh.........Hugo and Remy will cover for me.....I think...Unless they're as drunk as me, those bastards..." (laugh track)  
  
Omega Rugal-"Awwww.....the wee lad has a drinking problem! Well-"  
  
Iori-"I DON'T HAVE A DRINKING PROBLEM!!!!!!! I...I'm just really thirsty is all... Thirsty for hard liquor..." (laugh track)  
  
Chris-"Hehheh.."  
  
Shermie-"Iori, you need to confront your drinking problem."  
  
Iori breaks down crying. (aaawwwwwww......)-"You're right...(sniff)...I need to stop this habit... or it'll kill me. Actually, I was planing on being hit by a car next year... but that is not the point. Now the only pleasure I have in life is taunting animals..."  
  
Chris-"Cough."  
  
Iori-"YES!! I will get rid of my alcohol abuse!!!"  
  
Yashiro, Shermie, Rugal, Chris-"Hurray for Iori, away with alcohol abuse!!"  
  
Iori (whispers)-"When Frank Stallone wins an oscar." (laugh track)  
  
Chris-"Okay, we saw the meercats, can we go now?"  
  
Yashiro-"Yeah, I'm hungry, let's go eat." fade out  
  
Fade in at Potato in Chainmail. K', Maxima, and the crappy 90210 kids were all there. A big Hungarian guy and a French guy were working the counter.  
  
Remy (lights a cigarette)-"Iori! Where were you? We opened an hour ago."  
  
Iori-"Funny story. I was captured while fighting for my country in Nam, and forced to make Nike's at gun point." (laugh track)  
  
Hugo-"You never went to war, and that happened to me, you drunken idiot."  
  
Remy-"Anyway-"  
  
Dumbass from 90210-"He-llo!! I ordered Zima, not emphazyma!! Can't you read? There's no smoking in here!"  
  
Remy (blows smoke in their general direction)-"Unfortunately, they don't teach you how to read and write in a concentration camp."  
  
90210 Kid (feeling sorry)-"Really?"  
  
Remy (shruges)-"Beats the hell outuv me. K', Maxima-" Points to the group of shit heads. "KILL! Do them in K' and M style. Don't stop the  
  
bone-breakin' til sundown!!"  
  
K'-"Oh yeah!"  
  
Big fight scene. 90210 bastards lose miserably.  
  
(scene censored by the network... alot of drinking and smoking...)  
  
Yashiro, Shermie & Chris exit the Potato in Chailmail. The sun is set,  
  
over a metropolis of shadows, people are coming home from work, others,  
  
are merely seizing the day now, our friends are going back to their flat.  
  
Lights of civilization gleam, sending messages of productivity, where  
  
our friends just had a drunken ho-down, and are returning home...  
  
Credits Roll  
  
Song by Men without Jobs plays 


	3. The Last Temptation of Iori

Generic sitcom music starts. "3 Kids and Goenitz" flashes across the  
  
screen. Pictures of New York, mostly in black and white, flash.  
  
Then the title again. More pictures. A giant letter Q. Then a picture  
  
Goenitz, Yashiro, Shermie and Chris doing the famous Beatle picture  
  
where they are walking across a cross walk. The title again, followed  
  
by the subtitle, "The Last Temptation of Iori:Over the Edge."  
  
We enter in the apartment. Yashiro and Shermie are sitting on the couch  
  
watching 'Shaft III: Shaft vs. Rocky, Eat This Balboa!' on the TV set.  
  
Chris is sitting at a table reading a novel, 'The Politics of Dancing  
  
and You', a masterpiece if I must say.  
  
Yashiro (takes a drink of beer)-"Hoo-ha! Don't mess with Shaft or he'll  
  
bitch slap you into next Thursday!" (laugh track)  
  
Goenitz enters. (clapping and cheering)-"Ah, Chris there you are! You  
  
start school tomorrow."  
  
Chris (is shocked)-"WHAT?! School? I can't go to school....."  
  
Goenitz-"Sorry Chris, but with my new, fancy big city job, I can't  
  
teach you anymore. I have to power lunch at eleven today."  
  
Chris-"Whaddya mean fancy, big city job. All you do is pretend to be  
  
hit by cars then sue the drivers for all they got. That isn't a fancy,  
  
big city job. I call that 'Idiot Citizenship'. And you aren't going to  
  
power lunch at eleven, you're going to scarf a bunch of fried chicken  
  
and down some peppermint Schnapps, then fall asleep on the couch."  
  
Goenitz-"And why DON'T you want to go to school? You can get yourself  
  
into all sorts of crazy shenanigens! Now c'mon. We gotta get you some  
  
school stuff. Oh, Shermie, Yashiro. While we're gone, pick up some  
  
dinner at Iori's. Maybe see something cool."  
  
Shermie-"We will, when Shaft bitch slaps Rocky again- Okay, there he  
  
goes. C'mon Yashiro."  
  
They leave. We fade in at a store of sorts. Goenitz and Chris are  
  
looking for stuff.  
  
Chris (holding up the round, black, thick rimmed glasses with no  
  
lenses.)-"Okay, tell me AGAIN why I have to wear these." (laugh track)  
  
Goenitz-"How can you learn unless you wear them? They make you look  
  
int_a_melectual or something." (laugh track)  
  
Chris (throws a notebook in the basket)-"Hey Goenitz, did you ever  
  
go to school when you were a kid?"  
  
Goenitz- "Ummmm.....Not that I can recollect." fade out  
  
The Potato in Chainmail, Iori, K', Maxima, Remy and Hugo are  
  
decked out in army fatigues and are readying for war. Iori is  
  
filling boot flasks with gin, and Hugo is polishing his sledgehammer, Remy is practicing his knife throwing on a picture of Brian  
  
Battler on the wall of the bar.  
  
Remy-"We have a box of 20 bullets, and a box of 3 bullets. That also  
  
has a picture in it of.....(squints at picture) Iori stepping on a  
  
rather bloody Kyo." (laugh track)  
  
Iori-"What other provisions do we have?"  
  
Hugo-"We have knives."  
  
K'-"Unfortunately, we have 23 bullets but no guns."  
  
Iori (points to stack of crates labeled 'guns')-"What are those then?"  
  
Maxima-"They appear to be the missing prop guns from the Rambo set."  
  
(laugh track)  
  
Iori-"Props? You mean I snuck into the set at the dead of night, beat  
  
up that Stallone guy, and all for a bunch of fake guns?!" (laugh track)  
  
K'-"Yeah. Anyways, as I was saying, we have 23 bullets and no guns. But I reckon that if we throw them hard enough we'll achieve the same effect."  
  
(laugh track)  
  
Hugo-"I got six pounds of beef." (laugh track, hootin' and hollerin')  
  
Remy-"I don't need that! That is dis-gustin'!!"  
  
Hugo-"Uh, I'm not talkin' 'bout downstairs, I mean I found some of  
  
that beef jerky stuff that K' likes so much."  
  
K'-"COO'!!!"  
  
Maxima-"That's the ticket little buddy." (smacks him with hat)  
  
Iori-"Men, now is the time to strike! Dee Jay will be busy with his,  
  
quote, buddies. We will go there and sabotage his 'Rasta-raunt'. Time  
  
is of the essence people! Move out!"  
  
Before they can leave, Yashiro and Shermie enter.  
  
Yashiro-"Hey wuzup guys?"  
  
Iori-"Oh, just raging a bit o' war. We're going over to Dee Jay's to  
  
sabotage big time!! You know, the usual. And how've you been?"  
  
Shermie-"We needed to get some things."  
  
Iori-"Okay..um..... If you help us, and we win the war, we'll give  
  
you guys some food for free. Howzat?"  
  
Shermie-"Sounds like fun."  
  
Yashiro-"Cool."  
  
Remy-"Grab some knives, some fatigues, and let's go!" fade out  
  
We enter on the dark street near Dee Jay's. It's a typical New York  
  
street after a rain. Complete with tagging on the walls, no one on the  
  
streets, lights in the buildings, and steam from the sewers. We hear  
  
the screeching of wheels in the distance and a truck (a Dodge Ram they  
  
hotwired in a parking lot to use as their doomsday ship.) swerves as it  
  
zooms down the wet street. The door flies open and Iori, Remy, Hugo, K', Maxima, Yashiro and Shermie crash out onto the sidewalk, or as Iori  
  
thought, the shores of Normandy. The unpiloted car flies into the  
  
top of a tree. (laugh track)  
  
  
  
Iori (whispering)-"Okay people, this is the battle field. And Dee Jay  
  
is the enemy. Enter through the back. You are to find and kill him, if  
  
the odds are stacked against you, take the only way out..."  
  
Shermie-"You want us to kill ourselves?"  
  
Iori-"No, bitch, you plow through those sons of bitches and break a  
  
limb on 'em if you can, we don't give up on my watch..."  
  
all but Iori-(what the hell did that mean?)  
  
Iori-"Okay men, we depart, may we rain terrible hellfire on the lot of  
  
them, and be back in time for tea!!" (laugh track) fade out  
  
Inside the apartment, Goenitz is sleeping on the couch with a drumstick  
  
by his head and Schnapps is poured all over the floor. Chris is  
  
playing a video game known only as..... 'Nazi Smasher!! II: No  
  
Mercy from Marco'  
  
Chris-"Dawl get dem Nazi's." (using his backpack as a foot rest)  
  
fade out  
  
Back in the alley, the gang turns toward a coughing noise from a dark  
  
corner.  
  
Shadow man-"Eh! Who are (cough) you skulking around like a bunch of  
  
Spanish ninjas?" (laugh track)  
  
Remy-"Hey it's Alex."  
  
Hugo-"You mean the guy I stole the rasslin' trophy from? How's it feel  
  
to be second best?! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA....!!!!!!"  
  
Alex-"God hates you bitch... (slaps Hugo cross face with a Bible."  
  
Hugo-"Oh the painful memories........"  
  
Shermie-"Why are you in the alley?"  
  
Alex-"Alright, I'll tell you my tale of woe. I came because I stole  
  
some coupons from Benimaru for a free meal from dis place. Now I'm only  
  
gonna say dis once, Dee Jay's secret sauce is actually-"  
  
Iori (cuts in)-"No time for small talk! We got us a mission! And I'll  
  
be damned if an' we go over time on my watch. Now is you a Yankee,  
  
or is you'se wit' us?"  
  
Alex-"Well...I got dis here stungun.... Let's go kick some ass!"  
  
Hugo knocks the door in with his monstrous gut like a battering ram.  
  
Iori-"I am the Snake Man!!!"  
  
Iori hits the ground like a stone and slides across the floor- just like  
  
a snake. The rest just follow him into the bar. Panic struck and a huge  
  
battle ensues. Dee Jay's posse never stood a chance against a band of  
  
drunken vigilante's. The battle was fought and won within 30 seconds.  
  
Cries of "Long Live the Confederacy!" were heard by all. The war heroes  
  
returned to their quiet place across the street, after setting the  
  
building aflame. (laugh track)  
  
Remy walks to the window and looks across the way.  
  
Remy-"The flaming building is so strong, I bet we could cook stuff on  
  
this windowsill."  
  
Iori-"That'll teach every entrepreneur on the face of this God-forsaken  
  
planet, by cracky!!!! The Battle of Antiettam Creek, our victory, will  
  
surely leave us as the only bar/restaurant in town. Next down, we will  
  
destroy every McDonalds we can find!!"  
  
They clink together their glasses of victory booze in cheers. They won  
  
the battle and gained a new friend. Yashiro and Shermie returned home  
  
to Goenitz passed out, and Chris killing Nazi's.  
  
Chris-"You guys missed a great day! We bought stuff, then stuff  
  
happened. On the news they said some bar was burning. The footage was  
  
cool!"  
  
Shermie and Yashiro, saying nothing, collapse to the floor.  
  
Credits Roll  
  
Men With Out Jobs Song Plays 


	4. Chris goes to school

Cast for this episode:  
  
Goenitz, Yashiro, Shermie, Chris = the gang  
  
Krush Noodbutt = Character from Garou: Mark of the Wolves, we just like  
  
the name, it sounds ever so homosexual.  
  
Syo Kirishima (i.e. Sexual Dynamite)= This is a new guy for KOF 2000,  
  
he has a special move called 'Sexual Dynamite' I don't know anything  
  
about him, but he looks kinda of like your average japanese guy.  
  
Kyo Kusanagi = resident dumb bastard, and hero characer of the KOF  
  
series since it began in 1994. I hate this guy.  
  
Ryuji Yamazaki = Probably one of the coolest characters ever in a  
  
fighting game. He is very tall, wears all black, has a big knife, & screams a lot. I look up to him as a father figure. His first  
  
appearance was Fatal Fury 3, but he's been in KOF since 1997.  
  
----------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Generic sitcom music starts. "3 Kids and Goenitz" flashes across the  
  
screen. Pictures of New York, mostly in black and white, flash.  
  
Then the title again. More pictures. A giant letter Q. Then a picture  
  
Goenitz, Yashiro, Shermie and Chris doing the famous Beatle picture  
  
where they are walking across a cross walk. The title again, followed  
  
by the subtitle, "Chris goes to school"  
  
We enter on the apartment. Yashiro and Shermie are watching 'Rocky X:  
  
Rocky vs. Mr. T, Ah Pity Duh Foo Who Trains in the Meat Locker'.  
  
Shermie-"Wow, Rocky throws a pretty good punch in his old age."  
  
T.V.-"Eat dis Balboa! Stay in school!"  
  
Yashiro-"But Mr. T's better."  
  
T.V-"Mr. T! How can we be big and strong like you?" "Well chilr'n, stay in drugs, drink your school, and don't do milk. Mistah T needs work."  
  
Chris walks in from another room and picks his backpack off the table.  
  
Chris-"Hey! I'm goin' to school."  
  
Yashiro-"That's too bad. That means you'll miss the 'Rocky' marathon."  
  
Chris-"Tape 'Rocky XI: Rocky Battles White Supremacy', and 'Rocky XII:  
  
Mr. Balboa Goes to Washington'. I hear he digs up George Washington's  
  
corpse and punches it's light's out. An' I ain't gonna miss that on  
  
the account of school." (laug track)  
  
Shermie-"Do you want us to tape 'Rocky XIII: Rocky vs. Dracula vs. the  
  
Wolfman vs. Frankenstein vs. the Mummy, All's Not Well In New Orleans'?"(laught track)  
  
Chris-"Nah. I hear that one sucks. I'll see you guy's later." fade out  
  
Chris walks among the other students into the two-story indoor school.  
  
Chris sees a man in black holding up some kids for their lunch money  
  
near the playground. This man looks very familiar, but then, so does  
  
everybody in this fashion-obsessed day and age.  
  
Chris(-'I ain't gonna have fun in this school.')  
  
As he goes in the entrance, we zoom in on a sign beside the door.  
  
Please don't bring any guns.  
  
We don't want a repeat of  
  
last month's problem.  
  
-Noodbut  
  
Chris-"Who the hell is Noodbut?"  
  
Some guy-"That's our Principal. Krush Noodbut." (laugh track)  
  
Chris(-'I ain't gonna have fun at this school.) "And Who the hell are  
  
you, friendly bastard?"  
  
Some guy-"I'm Syo 'Sexual Dynamite' Kirishima, the 'big man' on campus. Do you want my 'autograph? It is 'spectacular'! I am 'art'.  
  
'Stay in school'! (laugh track)  
  
Chris-"Shut the hell up."  
  
Syo-"Oh now what was that? You want that I should give you a 'savage  
  
beating'? You stand no chance to the 'Sexual Dynamite'. I'll kill  
  
you, 'Drink your milk'!  
  
Chris-"Are you asking me to fight?"  
  
Syo-"OHHHHHHHH YEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!! I's gonna knock you'se out, 'Eat your greens'.  
  
FIGHT SCENE  
  
*Syo taunts Chris with 'When I'm done, my balls'll be bouncin' on your  
  
chin'. (gives Chris the 'finger')  
  
*Chris kicks Syo in the shin extremely hard. This knocks Syo off balance and he simultaneously lets out an "AAAAIIIIIIEEEEE!!!!!!".  
  
*Second, Chris gives Syo a 'spinning backfist blow' that makes him turn 90 degrees to his right side.  
  
*Finally, Chris does a 'turnaround heel kick' that knocks Syo spinning  
  
onto the floor, spitting a bit of blood.  
  
*Chris doesn't fight fair, so he walked over and stepped on Syo's head. "Hey mister, my boot doesn't like your head..."  
  
END FIGHT SCENE  
  
Syo-"Next time I'll go easy on you. 'Go find a job'." (laugh track)  
  
Chris(-Whatever, dumbass.)  
  
Chris walks down the hall looking at the numbers on the doors.  
  
Chris(-......309.......310......311......312.....314....314? What  
  
happened to 313? Oh well, like I care, here's my class.) (laugh track)  
  
Chris enters door number 314. The teacher is gone, and students are  
  
talking. Chris stands, the bell rings and a couple people sit down.  
  
Chris goes to an empty seat next to a really out of place guy wearing a fake big white beard, dark sunglasses and a wide brimmed hat. Chris  
  
stares at him blankly for a while.  
  
Chris-"Kyo?"  
  
The guy looks over at him, then realizing he gave himself away, panics.  
  
Kyo-"GUH..!? Uh no, I am not Kyo..... I'm.....uh.... Gordon Chavez! Yeah! That's it.... Gordon Chavez, exchange student extrodinaire."  
  
Chris (on verge of laughing)-"Geez Kyo, how old are you? Like... 23 or something? Isn't that a bit old for a sophomore?"  
  
Kyo-"..uh......"  
  
Chris-"Hehheh, wait 'til Iori hears about this one. He'll laugh himself to death, that handsome bastard."  
  
Kyo-"WHAT!?! Don't tell Yagami..... I'll...."  
  
Chris-"Give me 100 dollars now Kusanagi, or the word runs."  
  
Kyo reluctantly gives him the money.  
  
Kyo-"Now promise you won't tell Iori."  
  
Chris-"I promise...(whispers)..that I will.. heeheehee.." (laugh track)  
  
The door opens and that same tall, man in black that was robbing the kids walked in.  
  
Chris(-Hmm....Tall.. wearing all black.. blonde and black hair combed  
  
back....hand in pocket....posture..... I KNEW THIS GUY LOOKED FAMILIAR!! It's...)  
  
Man-"I'm Professor Yamazaki, and I'm going to be your teacher for the  
  
school year."  
  
Chris(-I KNEW IT!!!)  
  
Yamazaki-"Okay, sit down and shut up." (the rest of the people sit down) I'm going to call roll. Some of you are familiar. (looks at Kyo and tries not to laugh) Alright, Benemuso Azrael?" (laugh track)  
  
Voice-"It is I who am here."  
  
Yamazaki-"I don't care. Look, 'cause this'll take to long, I'm just  
  
going to randomly call out your names. Okay, Chris?"  
  
Chris-"Here."  
  
Yamazaki-"Hey, do you still live with Yashiro, Shermie and that creepy  
  
guy?"  
  
Chris-"Goenitz."  
  
Yamazaki-"Yeah. You know Chris, You kind of remind me of a young me. Not too much younger though, perhaps a few years older. Anyway, Duke Rambert?" (laugh track)  
  
Voice-"Here."  
  
Yamazaki-"Hank?"  
  
Voice-"Hea'"  
  
Yamazaki-"Kyo Kusanagi?"  
  
Kyo-"Uh......here.."  
  
Yamazaki-"Well, well, well, if it isn't the hero of the King of  
  
Fighters! My god, you're still in high school! How many times have you  
  
been held back?"  
  
Kyo-"...eight times..." (laugh track)  
  
Yamazaki-"Eight? God Damn! You're an idiot! Everyone point and laugh!  
  
C'mon don't be shy! There's plenty of room to crowd around." (laugh track)  
  
Everyone points and laughs. Kyo is bright red and cowers near his backpack.  
  
Yamazaki-"So, tell me. Has Saisyu disowned you yet? By the way, where's that Benimaru guy you hang out with a lot? Smoking ecstasy with his 'man friends' I presume?"  
  
Kyo-"What Benimaru does behind closed doors is only for me and those other guys to know!"  
  
Yamazaki holds the same disgusted expression for a little more than a minute, and everybody is wondering about what Kyo just said.  
  
Yamazaki-"I'm just going to repress all that rage and continue roll call. Rock Howard?"  
  
Rock-"Present."  
  
Yamazaki-"Tell me, Rock, is Geese Howard yo daddy?"  
  
Rock-"Yes."  
  
Yamazaki-"Okay, tell me. What does your family smoke when they come up  
  
with these names."  
  
Rock-"Oh, you know. The usual." (laugh track)  
  
Yamazaki-"I tire of this. Syo, Kensou, Robert, Billy, Brian, Bao,..... screw it, you're all being marked here. Now for the lesson plan."  
  
He walked over to the chalkboard, grabbed himself some chalk, and wrote the word "AND" on the board in big jagged letters. He then said that he was going out for a smoke and would be back in "a little while". (laugh track)  
  
Three minutes before the last bell of the day would ring, Yamazaki  
  
returned.  
  
Yamazaki-"Okay, for homework tonight, you have to write a five page  
  
rambling manifesto on today's lesson. Tomorrow, we're having a 100 question test on it. So study. Or some shit like that. Anyway, I'd like to leave you little bastards with a bit of advice. There's a little movie out called 'Rocky XIV: Rocky vs. Superman, The Right To Wear The Cape'. If you see this movie, be sure to learn the names of the people who made it. Then kill them and move to Norway. I know that's what I'm doing. In fact, I'm leaving next week, so you'll have a sub for a while."  
  
The bell rings. Chris sees that Yamazaki has a cell phone.  
  
Chris-"Hey Yamazaki, can I use your phone?"  
  
Yamazaki-"Give me a quarter."  
  
Chris (turns toward Kyo)-"Hey Kyo, can I borrow a quarter?"  
  
Kyo-"Alright, as long as you don't call Yashiro."  
  
Chris-"Alright. Yashiro I won't call."  
  
Kyo stands by. Chris dials in the number. After a pause...  
  
Chris-"Hi Yashiro (Kyo does a double take. laugh track) Can I talk to  
  
Shermie?"  
  
Pause.  
  
Chris-"Hey Shermie, you'll never guess who's in my class! It's the hero of KOF himself! Kyo Kusanagi!"  
  
Laughter is heard from phone. Yamazaki snickers. Kyo starts crying.  
  
(laugh track)  
  
Syo Kirishima-"Ooh, total burn! Don't do drugs!" Gives a thumbs up.  
  
Chris goes home.  
  
Credits Roll  
  
Men Without Job's song plays 


	5. Hellfire on the Horizon

There are no new characters added today, but that won't stop the fun!  
  
Generic sitcom music starts. "3 Kids and Goenitz" flashes across the  
  
screen. Pictures of New York, mostly in black and white, flash.  
  
Then the title again. More pictures. A giant letter Q. Then a picture  
  
Goenitz, Yashiro, Shermie and Chris doing the famous Beatle picture  
  
where they are walking across a cross walk. The title again, followed  
  
by the subtitle, "Hellfire on the Horizon".  
  
We enter on the 'Potato in Chainmail', Chris is sitting at the bar  
  
talking to Iori. K', Maxima, Yashiro and Shermie are talking at their  
  
usual table. Alex, Hugo and Remy are watching Goenitz, who is staring  
  
at the jukebox. Other people are just sitting around.  
  
Chris-"So then Yamazaki said that he'd let us start our vacation  
  
thirty minutes early, but on one condition."  
  
Iori (drying a glass like bartenders always do on TV)-"And what was  
  
that?"  
  
Chris-"If Kyo could answer a question correctly. Yamazaki asked him,  
  
'In what country is the French city of Paris?' Kyo, being the dumbass  
  
that he is, answered 'Siam?'." (laugh track)  
  
Iori-"What did ol' Yamazak do then?"  
  
Chris-"Well he held the same disgusted expression for a little more  
  
than a minute. Then he smacked Kyo upside the head with a world  
  
history book and shouted, 'WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?!?!?!! Siam was  
  
Thailand ages ago!!' Kyo started crying, which was funny. The only bad  
  
thing that happened though was that Yamazaki made us stay after the  
  
bell about five minutes. So I gave Rock a fiver to kick Kyo's ass  
  
after school. AND HE DID A DAMN GOOD JOB OF IT TOO!!! The hero of KOF  
  
can't even protect his'self from a sophomore." (laugh track)  
  
Iori-"HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA....!!!!! That's a riot! Hm,  
  
I guess you won't have any more Kyo stories 'til you go back to school  
  
next week, huh?"  
  
Chris-"Unfortunately, that's probably true, unless we see him on the  
  
weekend, then we'll screw him up good."  
  
Hugo-"Look at that Goenitz guy go. What's he doing standing there?"  
  
Remy-"Godamn!"  
  
Iori-"What the hell is goin' on? DAMN! Goenitz jus' smashed my jukebox  
  
with a cue stick!" (laugh track)  
  
Chris-"Sounds like something he'd do."  
  
Goenitz-"That'll teach you to give me the silent treatment, young man!  
  
Now sing my puppet!" (laugh track)  
  
Shermie-"That's a jukebox Goenitz. You have to put a quarter in it for  
  
it to work."  
  
K' (turns to Yashiro)-"What's wrong with that guy?"  
  
Yashiro-"I think that's how he's always been."  
  
Maxima-"How peculiar."  
  
Iori-"Ya know, suddenly I have this sudden urge to go to the Wild Wild  
  
West. Hey check this out you guys, (pulls out a gun) Everyone out!  
  
We're closing shop early! (puts on a black cowboy hat with a huge  
  
peacock feather in it) Everybody into the van! We're goin' to the ol'  
  
West!" (laugh track)  
  
Remy locks the door, and then K', Maxima, Hugo, Alex, Shermie, Chris,  
  
Yashiro, Goenitz, Iori, and Remy pile into Iori's van.  
  
We cut to a scene of the van driving down an empty highway in the  
  
desert; it then drives into a ghost town. The type of ghost town that  
  
tourists go to stare at people who still think it's the 1850's.  
  
Where they REALLY think they're cowboys even though the only mustang  
  
they have is the one in the front yard with no wheels or engine.  
  
They park amongst the tourist cars and get out. The sandal-footed,  
  
shorts-wearing, Hawaiian-shirt-clad tourists took pictures of the odd  
  
group that is our 'heroes'.  
  
Remy (being rude and French)-"Hey, haven't you ever seen a Hungarian,  
  
French people, some Japanese folk, a Swede, a Canadian, and (gets to  
  
Goenitz) I don't know what the hell you're supposed to be....."  
  
Goenitz smiles dumbly. Iori goes up to a tourist.  
  
Iori (in bad Transylvanian accent)-"Bla! Remember me when you see the  
  
moon! Bla! I vill dance like children of the night! Bla!" (does a pose  
  
he learned from watching Blackula)  
  
K'-"I'm thirsty. Let's get some drinks somewhere."  
  
They walk across the dirt road and on to the boardwalk, and over to  
  
the cowpoke infested 'Saloon'. Hugo and Maxima make the entrance  
  
bigger, and Goenitz punches the wooden Indian as he walks in. People  
  
stare at them as they walk over to the bar. Low down Irvine Kinneas  
  
from Final Fantasy VIII comes over to start something with them. He's  
  
a vicious perv, one of those "ass sadists". The kind of guy you don't  
  
want to meet in any alley, any time.  
  
Bar Tender (is worried)-"Ah! It's ol' Irvine Kinneas! The ornery  
  
cowboy! 'E's mighty feared 'round dees pa'ts."  
  
Yashiro-"What's so feared about him? He looks like a gay reject from a  
  
western movie extra audition."  
  
Irvine-"So you think ol' Irvine is a gay reject from a picture show,  
  
eh? You obviously don't think too much of old Irvy... Am I right?"  
  
Yashiro-"That's about the size of it."  
  
Irvine-"Those be fightin' words!" (strikes prize fighter stance)  
  
K'-"Wait a sec..." (pulls Yashiro over and whispers something so  
  
Irvine can't hear)  
  
Yashiro (whispers)-"Okay, so how'd that go again?"  
  
K' (whispers)-"You have to do your 'Duel Upper' and knock him through  
  
that window over there. You know, like they do in the movies?"  
  
Yashiro (whispers)-"Okay, but does this have any relevance?"  
  
K' (whispers)-"You see, I've always wanted to get into a Wild West  
  
type bar fights. So while you take out Irvine, we'll start crap with  
  
some hillbillies then get into a car chase 'cross the prairie."  
  
Yashiro-"Sounds cool."  
  
K' tells his plan to the rest, while Yashiro walks over to Irvine and  
  
knocks him out the window. K' smashes a beer bottle over some guy's  
  
head. Shermie picks up a chair and breaks it on some guy's head. There  
  
were shouts of yee-haws and such as the battle escalated.  
  
Yashiro-"That's our cue to get into a car chase!"  
  
The party runs out side and into the van. The hillbillies that  
  
followed jumped into their truck. Remy popped in the 'Hillbilly Chase  
  
Music' he purchased at one of the stores.  
  
They speed down the street and out into the desert, followed by the  
  
rednecks, in hillbilly mobile with a shotgun set up on the "shotgun"  
  
side where it's supposed to be...  
  
Chris-"You know, if you weren't playing that music, they probably  
  
would stop."  
  
Remy ejected the tape into the trashcan. The truck stopped and turned  
  
around.  
  
K'-"I'm still thirsty. We didn't get anything to drink from that bar."  
  
Hugo-"Yes, but we best go to a different bar."  
  
They drove back to town, and went to the 'Saloon' across from the  
  
'Saloon' they trashed. They went inside...  
  
Bar Keep-"Howdy, ya'll. What can I do ya fo'?"  
  
Remy-"I'll have a 'Sex on the Beach'."  
  
The bar tender gave him a beer.  
  
K'-"I'll have a 'Cactus Jack'."  
  
Bar Keep-"How old are you sonny?"  
  
K'-"Guh.... Why I fought in the Great War, by cracky."  
  
Bar Keep-"Well, in that case you get a veteran's discount." Hands him  
  
a beer.  
  
Goenitz-"I'll have a Cowboy Special'."  
  
The bar tender breaks a bottle over Goenitz's head.  
  
Iori (gives him weird look)-"Just who the hell do you think you are?!  
  
You call yourself a bar tender! I should kick your ass for that! All  
  
you do is hand someone a beer when they want hard liquor cocktails.  
  
If I had a glove, I'd smack you with it. Since I don't, I'll just use  
  
this old sock filled with quarters."  
  
Yashiro-"I take it you saw Mallrats too, eh?"  
  
Iori-"I think I was hiding in your old farm house place when I saw  
  
that movie, oh, what a film!" He then proceeds to knock the bar tender  
  
out with one swing of his quarter filled garment.  
  
Iori-"And that's the end of that chapter."  
  
Goenitz-"Ah what fun we've had since we moved to the big city! We've  
  
all sorts of crazy antics, shenanigens, hooliganism, and tom foolery!"  
  
Hugo-"Hey Iori, while you're at it, why not put this guy out for a while?"  
  
Shermie-"Splendid idea! Then let's go-"  
  
Alex-"Criky! It's da fuzz!"  
  
The ol' sheriff comes in through the swinging doors. As old west doors  
  
are.  
  
Sheriff (pulls hat over his eyes)-"So, are you the hooligans who've  
  
been...causing trouble in my town?"  
  
Shermie-"Hey, I'll take this one out, ya guys."  
  
She walks over to the sheriff takes his star.  
  
Everyone gasps.  
  
Maxima-"She's the sheriff!"  
  
Remy (says in high, almost feminine voice)-"NOO!! No more Suzanne  
  
Summer!!"  
  
K'-"Dear god, are they re-running 'She's the Sheriff'? I don't think  
  
the world is ready for that again."  
  
Maxima-"Oh no, we had enough of that in the 70's. I meant Shermie, she  
  
has the star of justice! She's the sheriff!!!"  
  
Shermie then punches the sheriff so he flies ten feet out a window.  
  
Shermie-"And that's the end of that chapter... Oh! I mean we best  
  
be leavin' the ol' west before we get ourselves in a genuine  
  
Tia-juana jail. This place sucks anyway."  
  
Yashiro-"Agreed. We should leave this dump."  
  
They leave the bar and head back to good ol' New York. The Wild West  
  
was a little too much for the lot of 'em.  
  
Credits Roll  
  
Song from Men Without Jobs plays 


	6. Battle for the Maple

The only new guys this time are Heidern & Cracker Jack...  
  
Heidern: the Nazi dude from KOF, looks like a Nazi, salutes like a Nazi, and dammit, he's a Nazi.  
  
Cracker Jack: this guy is from the Street Fighter EX series, he looks like one mean mofo, but in this story, he's a fag.  
  
  
  
Generic sitcom music starts. "3 Kids and Goenitz" flashes across the screen. Pictures of New York, mostly in black and white, flash. Then the title again. More pictures. A giant letter Q. Then a picture Goenitz, Yashiro, Shermie and Chris doing the famous Beatle picture where they are walking across a cross walk. The title again, followed by the subtitle, "Battle for the Maple".  
  
  
  
We enter in Central Park. Goenitz and the three kids are walking through it.  
  
  
  
Goenitz-"Well, that sure was some crazy shenanigens we got into in the ol' west, wasn't it? I fancy this cowpoke hat I got." (Points to hat)  
  
  
  
Chris-"It was interesting. Hm. Today Yamazaki told us we're gonna have a sub tomorrow, dagnabit!"  
  
  
  
Yashiro-"Chris! What did I tell you about talking like a grizzled 1890's prospector?"  
  
  
  
Chris-"Consarnit...."  
  
  
  
As they walk over the bridge, ugly Mr. Heidern jumps out from under it.  
  
  
  
Heidern-"Heil!"  
  
  
  
Yashiro (screams)-"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!"  
  
  
  
Shermie-"It's just Heidern."  
  
  
  
Yashiro-"Exactly."  
  
  
  
Heidern-"What is dis meaning of crossing mein bridge so noisy like?"  
  
  
  
Chris-"I was just talking about school. I was about to get to the test I have to take on Friday."  
  
  
  
Heidern-"Test, eh? I took a test today...."  
  
  
  
Chris-"Really? What about?"  
  
  
  
Heidern-"They tested me at the clinic for Hepatitis. I kicked ass too. I got an A, two B's, and a C." (laugh track)  
  
  
  
Shermie-"Okay....." Gives Heidern a weird look.  
  
  
  
Goenitz-"Why do you jump out at people Heidern?"  
  
  
  
Heidern-"What's so wrong a-boot a former Nazi that lives under a bridge waiting to give you Hepatitis?" (laugh track)  
  
  
  
Yashiro-"What's right about it?"  
  
  
  
Heidern-"....... You got me there."  
  
  
  
Heidern goes back under the bridge, and they continue walking.  
  
They return to the apartment and it is night.  
  
  
  
Next day. Chris goes off to school, and Shermie and Yashiro go off to Iori's to see if they can get wasted before nine o' clock.  
  
  
  
We enter in the 'Potato in Chainmail'. Maxima and K' are talking with Iori at the bar.  
  
  
  
Maxima-"And that in turn means death for us all." (laugh track)  
  
  
  
Iori-"Your theories intrigue me. I wish to subscribe to your newsletter."  
  
  
  
Shermie and Yashiro walk in.  
  
  
  
Shermie-"Hey, Iori!"  
  
  
  
Yashiro-"Guess what Heidern's been up to."  
  
  
  
Iori-"Ummmmm.... Leading the Germans into Czechoslovakia?" (laugh  
  
track hardcore style)  
  
  
  
Yashiro-"Um.... No... He lives under a bridge."  
  
  
  
As they sit talking, a big man wearing white pants, hat, jacket with sleeves rolled up, a black shirt, and fancy shoes comes in. His hat is tilted just so, therefore his eyes cannot be seen. And like Maxima, he has big side burns. But unlike Maxima, he has one glove with a gold ring.  
  
  
  
Mysterious Stranger-"Maxima."  
  
  
  
Maxima-"AH! It's Cracker Jack!"  
  
  
  
Yashiro-"Who is this Cracker Jack? Well, other than the obvious."  
  
  
  
Maxima-"Back in the days when I still lived in Canada, he was the mean rich kid who lived down the block. Always caused me trouble he did. So I left and came here."  
  
  
  
Cracker Jack-"Yes, ran away you did."  
  
  
  
K'-"Rich, eh?"  
  
  
  
Cracker Jack-"Yes, I'm a big shot down at the cracker factory."  
  
  
  
K'-"Really? Well, I'm in the iron and steel business."  
  
  
  
Cracker Jack-"Really? Which one? United Iron and Steel? Wolfgang Steel and Iron?"  
  
  
  
K'-"No, when I'm at home I iron, but when I'm not, I steal." (laugh track)  
  
  
  
Cracker Jack gives him a weird look for a long time. Then turns to Maxima.  
  
  
  
Cracker Jack-"I have been looking for you for years. Now that I have found you, we will duke it out."  
  
  
  
Maxima-"Okay..... but for what purpose?"  
  
  
  
Cracker Jack-"BECAUSE!! Back in '81, I wanted to be crowned Ms. Canada! But you stole that title away from me!!"  
  
  
  
Maxima-"What are you talking about? I didn't steal it from you, I never entered that 'cause I'm a dude. You know 'Ms.', usually means a girl. And all I said was you WOULDN'T get crowned."  
  
  
  
Cracker Jack-"Well enough talk, have at you!" Strikes a pose.  
  
  
  
Iori steps between them.  
  
  
  
Iori-"Now, now.... If you're gonna do this, at least do it in a civilized fashion. Well put this event on Friday night at eight o' clock. We'll construct a ring in back where we have the cock fights, and we'll charge admission. So I.. I mean, WE can make a profit from it. It'll be a good ol' fashioned, no-holds-barred, beer-drinkin'-fun, texas-death-match-in-a-steel-cage type of fight."  
  
  
  
Cracker considers this for a while-"Okay. You got five days to get ready." then he leaves.  
  
  
  
K'-"Alright Maxima, I'll be your trainer." (lights a cigar and throws a towel over his shoulder) "First thing we're gonna do is watch all thirteen Rocky movies... And would it be too much for you to call me Mr. Popadopolis?"  
  
  
  
K' pops 'Rocky I' into the VCR on the counter near the TV.  
  
  
  
Iori-"Hey, this 'Rocky' marathon of theirs could get me some profit.  
  
  
  
K' (pauses movie as Rocky gets hit)-"This is what you're not supposed to do." fade out  
  
  
  
Commercial break-  
  
Kids looking bored playing with their video games.  
  
Announcer-"Hey kids, are you tired of playing with the same old  
  
stuff?"  
  
Kids-"Yeah."  
  
Announcer-"Then you'll have loads of fun playing with the 'Spider  
  
Whistle'!!!"  
  
Shows picture of a whistle with a spider painted on it.  
  
Announcer-"Just blow the whistle and watch the spiders come!!"  
  
Cuts to the kids outside, each with the whistle, laughing and  
  
blowing on the whistle. A wave of spiders comes towards them.  
  
Cut to picture of product. Sappy music plays.  
  
Announcer-"The 'Spider Whistle', provides hours of Arachnid fun!  
  
Order two and we'll give you antivenom, for FREE!!"  
  
Announcer-"The spider whistle, brought to you by Happy-Fun inc.  
  
Providing children with fun toys for 50 years. Also the  
  
people who brought you the 'Wacky Knife Ball!  
  
Try and catch it!' and 'The Fire Hat, Hey, you're head's on fire!'"  
  
  
  
We enter in the arena. It's filled with people, talking and waiting for the match to start. Off to the side Maxima is standing with K', Yashiro, Shermie, Chris and Goenitz.  
  
  
  
K'-"Alright, remember your training. Go out there and make us proud!"  
  
  
  
Iori comes in-" Alright, I got a lot of money riding on this fight, so don't lose! Oh, I mean, do your best." (laugh track)  
  
  
  
The lights dim and Remy walks to the center of the ring. Hugo lowers down a microphone from the rafters, and Alex puts the spotlight on him.  
  
  
  
Remy (coming from the speakers all around)-"Welcome to Battle of the Maple 2002!!! We stick two Canadians in the ring and one comes out! In the Red square, we have Maxima!!"  
  
  
  
Another spot light follows Maxima to the ring, people are cheering. K' follows shortly behind.  
  
  
  
Remy-"And in the Blue square, we have Cracker Jack!"  
  
  
  
A third spot light follows Cracker Jack to the ring, people are cheering. Maxima and Cracker Jack are standing in opposite corners of the ring.  
  
  
  
Remy-"The rules will go as follows... There will be NO tag partners, or weapons. This is a hand-to-hand duel for the title of Canada's best. The judges are now checking you for weapons.... Okay. Shake hands!"  
  
  
  
They do then Remy leaves the ring, then they engage in battle.  
  
  
  
Cracker Jack (punches Maxima)-"This one's for the cracker factory!!!"  
  
  
  
Maxima falls to the ground, beaten.  
  
  
  
Cracker Jack (strikes pose)-"I LOVE being a turtle!! PIZZAAAAAA!!!"  
  
  
  
Maxima-"Wait a moment, I'm not supposed to lose. I'm the good guy."  
  
  
  
K' shakes Maxima vigorously. "Dude you have to fight soon, don't be sleepin' on me."  
  
  
  
Maxima-"Oh...Right....."  
  
  
  
Remy-"Okay.....Shake hands!"  
  
  
  
Remy leaves the ring and they engage in battle. Maxima used 'Cobra Attack', where he whipped out a plastic snake and whipped Cracker Jack unconscious with it.  
  
  
  
Remy-"And the winnah is.....Maxima!"  
  
  
  
Some of the crowd cheers, the rest is disappointed with the shortness of the battle. Hugo walks on the stage bearing the championship belt (a normal brown "leather" belt purchased from K-mart for $5.99 but with a picture of a Canada flag stapled to it)  
  
  
  
Maxim-"I am winner, HAHAHA! I am winner, HAHAHA! I am winner, HAHAHA!"  
  
  
  
Credits Roll  
  
Men Without Jobs song plays 


	7. You Spin Me 'Round

There are only three new faces in this story.  
  
S&M Dude: His name says it all.  
  
Rock Howard: Geese's boy, Chris's friend.  
  
Geese Howard: A rich and powerful (let's not forget Damn strange)  
  
business man. He rules South Town with an Iron fist.  
  
----------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Generic sitcom music starts. "3 Kids and Goenitz" flashes across the  
  
screen. Pictures of New York, mostly in black and white, flash.  
  
Then the title again. More pictures. A giant letter Q. Then a picture  
  
Goenitz, Yashiro, Shermie and Chris doing the famous Beatle picture  
  
where they are walking across a cross walk. The title again, followed  
  
by the subtitle, "You Spin me 'Round...".  
  
We enter in the apartment in the afternoon. Goenitz is shaving the cats and gluing little pictures of Elvis all over them. Shermie and Yashiro are oblivious to their surroundings as they indulge themselves in watching, "Krauser Schizze II". We can see on the screen Krauser and Terry facing off in the foyer of Krauser's castle.  
  
T.V-(Krauser-German accent)-"KAAAAAIIIIIISSSAAAAAHHHHHH WAVE!!!" A huge bluish-white wave knocks Terry to the ground. Krauser walks over to Terry. "So, you have lived through my Kaiser Wave, Terry Bogard.... I can see it in the back of my mind that it was not powerful enough for the Terry Bogard. Now you shall face the wrath of my most powerful move ever!! Krauser Shizze!!"  
  
T.V-(Terry-in lots of pain, struggles to sit up. He's all beat up n'  
  
stuff.)-"Er.....Wha..t is it....?A-another hideous..uh..projectile..?"  
  
T.V-(Krauser-Steps closer to Terry)-"Hahahaha.....You could say that..."  
  
The camera now faces Yashiro and Shermie who are staring at the T.V.  
  
T.V-(Ziiip), (Fart)...(plop.) Terry-"AAAAAHHHHHH!!! N-Nnnnnnoooooooo!! AAH! Uuuuuuuhhhhhhh!" (laugh track) Krauser can be heard violently grunting. "'Tis good, yah?" Krauser says.  
  
Shermie(disgusted)-"Tha's nasty!!"  
  
Yashiro(also disgusted)-"I can't believe I just saw that!!"  
  
Goenitz(watching the T.V. from where he's sitting at the table)-"I did  
  
that once." (laugh track)  
  
Yashiro and Shermie exchange "W.T.F?" expressions then continue watching their show. Chris walks in. (Clapping)  
  
Goenitz-"Hi Chris. How was school?"  
  
Chris-"Oh, the usual. Rock an' me beat up Kyo again. (laugh track) That was fun. And Yamazaki taught us all about the Politics of Dancing. Oh! Can I go to Rock's birthday this weekend?"  
  
Goenitz-"Off course, boy. When is this weekend anyway?" (laugh track)  
  
Chris-"Your kidding right?...(no response)....Tomorrow's Friday."  
  
Goenitz-"EXCELLENT!! Let us depart this very moment to purchase a gift  
  
for this fine young cannibal." (laugh track)  
  
Chris-"Fine Young Cannibals was a band in the '80's. And I really don't think Rock was part of it." (laugh track) Chris sees the cats' covered in tiny pictures of Elvis. "WHAT THE HELL'D YOU DO TO SNOWY AND BLOODHOUND!?"  
  
Goenitz-"It's just a remedy for what's ailing them." (laugh track)  
  
fade out  
  
We enter in the car at night with Goenitz and Chris, who is holding a  
  
gift. They pull up to a house with a lot of cars parked around it. A  
  
neon sign on top says "Voldo's Spiked Heels and Leather Mask S&M Ball"  
  
(laugh track)  
  
Goenitz-"Here we are!"  
  
Chris-"This isn't it. Didn't you follow my directions?"  
  
Goenitz-"Of course not! Enjoy your friend's party!" Goenitz pushes Chris out of the car. (laugh track)  
  
Chris (stands on the sidewalk)-"Hm, maybe I can use their phone."  
  
He goes inside. The walls are simulated stone, and the room is decorated entirely with dungeon equipment. Candles and whips are in every corner. Everyone there is wearing spiked heels, leather masks, carrying a whip, or has a leash with someone named Smoke on the other end. The whole time, the song "You Spin Me 'Round" by Dead or Alive is playing.  
  
Chris-"I got the Uh-oh feeling just now..."  
  
A tall, pasty-white man wearing black leather greets him.  
  
S&M Dude-"Hello S&M enthusiast! Welcome to Voldo's Spiked Heels and  
  
Leather Mask S&M Ball! I believe the tea is excellent, you need your  
  
master's name branded on your arse."  
  
Goenitz-"Put me in for a round. This will be my new fancy." (laugh track)  
  
Chris-"GOENITZ!?!? What the...?! Dude, this place is weird!"  
  
Goenitz-".....They're your friends, Chris."  
  
Chris-"Wha...? I've never seen these people before!" (laugh track)  
  
Goenitz-"Have fun, I have to run some errands. See if you can get one of your friends to drop you off at home." Goenitz leaves.  
  
Chris stands around looking confused. Someone walks up behind him.  
  
Yamazaki-"Chris....?"  
  
Chris-"YAMAZAKI!?" (laugh track)  
  
Yamazaki-"Are you an S&M enthusiast too?" (laugh track)  
  
Chris-"No....I was supposed to go to Rock's house, but Nonuts dropped  
  
me off here. Say Yamazaki...Is there a phone here I could use?"  
  
Yamazaki-"Over by the boiling oil." (laugh track)  
  
Chris goes over to the phone and dials in a number.  
  
Chris-"Hey Remy. Is Iori there?......Oh, Hi Iori....Can you do me a  
  
favor?........Well, I was supposed to go to Rock's house, but Goenitz  
  
dropped me off at an S&M ball. Could you please pick me up? These guys  
  
are scary.............90210 Sugarcane Lane........Okay, I'll be waiting."  
  
fade out  
  
And now our sponsor would like to put his 2 cents in.  
  
Two kids are looking bored as they play with their action figures.  
  
Voice-"Hey kids, are you tired of playing with those boring old toys?  
  
Well there's a new toy in town! Bag-o-glass!!"  
  
Shows a bag filled with sharp, broken glass, the label says,  
  
"Bag-o-Glass"  
  
Voice-"Bag-o-Glass will provide you with hours of fun!"  
  
The kids are now really happy and look like they're having fun. They  
  
are also bleeding, and they're playing with the glass.  
  
Kids-"Thanks Bag-o-Glass!!! Hahahahhahah.....!!!!"  
  
Shows picture of product again. Big letters: "BAG O GLASS"  
  
Voice-"That's Bag-o-Glass, only $1.00 at a store near you!! Also comes  
  
in Bag-o-Nails, Bag-o-Rabid vermin, Bag-o-Snakes, Bag-o-Uranium.  
  
From the makers of Cancer Whistle!! The frequency from the whistle  
  
causes cancer!!! Hours of fun and enjoyment! Also, order now and get  
  
the new fangled Crab Whistle, it's note will give you crabs. Great  
  
for parties and shenanigens.  
  
fade in  
  
Chris is standing on the curb outside of the house. A car pulls up and  
  
he gets in. "Do you like... body worship?" The driver asks. (laugh track)  
  
Chris-"Uh.....Wrong car." He jumps out.  
  
Iori's car pulls up a bit later, he gets in and they drive off.  
  
Chris-"Thanks Iori. That place was creepy."  
  
Iori-"Ya know.....There's still time to get you to your friends place.  
  
Where does he live?"  
  
Chris-"They live in that big tower in the South Town district."  
  
Iori floors it-"Buckle your seat belt partner, your in for a fast ride."  
  
fade out  
  
South Town. Night. Iori's car swerves down the busy streets and pulls up in front of the Geese Building. Chris gets out and runs inside. There, he takes the "lift", or an elevator for you American pigs, to the suite floor. The suite is decorated for a party and is filled with people. Rock comes up to him.  
  
Rock-"There you are Chris! What took you so long?"  
  
Chris-"Oh...Just some engine trouble." (laugh track)  
  
As they stand talking Geese comes out of the elevator with two really  
  
bizarre looking animals on a leash.  
  
Rock-"Hi dad. How was the walk with the......uh...."  
  
Geese-"The Kahllewyka's? (he pets their heads) Good ol' Ripper and Hopper chased some cats and got into all sorts of crazy shenanigens!" (laugh track)  
  
Chris (whispers)-"Hey Rock, What's a.....Kahllewyka?"  
  
Rock-"I dunno."  
  
Geese-"Ya know, your little party reminds me of a little story. The year was 19-odd-6, and the president was the divine Miss Sara Bernhardt, and everyone was doing a dance called 'The Funky Grandpa'.  
  
Oooohhh.....I'ma.. I forget how the rest goes..." (laugh track)  
  
Geese leaves with his "Kahllewyka's.  
  
Chris-"Hey, Geese acts a lot like Goenitz does."  
  
Rock-"Bizarre?" (laugh track)  
  
Chris-"Yep."  
  
Rock and Chris-"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH.....!!!!!!"  
  
Credits Roll  
  
Men Without Jobs Song Plays 


	8. VH1: Behind the Laughter

VH1, Behind the Laughter  
  
The Three Kids and Goenitz Story  
  
(The picture of Yashiro, Shermie, Chris and Goenitz comes onto screen.)  
  
Announcer-" At the end of it's first season, "3 Kids and Goenitz" was  
  
one of the most popular and praised sitcoms of the century. But  
  
behind the camera's veil of laughter and happiness, was fire."  
  
(The picture burns away. Goenitz is sitting in a chair in front of  
  
the camera)  
  
Goenitz-"I always felt like I was getting the worst out of it. I mean,  
  
I graduated from a university with a major in Biology. I had the  
  
highest IQ of them all, but since my character was an insane  
  
dumbass, people would follow me around saying things like,  
  
'There's crazy ol' Goenitz, he's bound to get into crazy  
  
shenanigans! Let's follow him!' By the end of the first season,  
  
I had restraining orders on half of New York!"  
  
(Cut to Chris)  
  
Chris-"Everything was going great until Goenitz wrote that tell-all  
  
book that gave detail to everything we hid from the public. It's  
  
'cause of him I had to spend six months in rehab!"  
  
Announcer-"But it wasn't always like this. In the beginning, Yashiro,  
  
Shermie, Chris and Goenitz were sitting at a cafe in between  
  
bouts at the King of Fighters tournament and came up with the  
  
idea for a sitcom."  
  
(Cut to Shermie)  
  
Shermie-"We thought it would be pretty cool to have our own show. I  
  
mean, we saw enough sitcoms come and go, how hard could it be?  
  
Even if it didn't last long, being on TV was enough for me. Our  
  
first script was written entirely on napkins from the restaurant,  
  
and we sold it to Heavy D! Studios.  
  
(Cut to Yashiro)  
  
Yashiro-"We decided to base the story off KoF. Not the tournament, but  
  
the things that happened away from the ring. We collaborated on  
  
ideas, but we just couldn't do it alone. So we reached out to  
  
our KoF friends. Since we were on good terms with most of them,  
  
we thought it would be easy to get them on screen."  
  
Announcer-"They first reached out to Iori, an old friend."  
  
(Cut to Shermie)  
  
Shermie-"I always liked Iori, he's one of my favorite people. It  
  
seemed like we got most of our ideas from him. The only problem  
  
was that he was an alcoholic. Our hatred for Iori only goes as  
  
far as the plot of KOF, he's actually fun to be around..."  
  
(Cut to Goenitz)  
  
Goenitz-"Iori drank A LOT. Many times he'd show up to the day's shoot  
  
late and drunk. Those days he always looked like he'd spent the  
  
night in the gutter. But since budgets were strict, we'd have to  
  
write things in at the last moment. Like in the Episode, "Satan  
  
Wants to See the Meercats". He was drunk and heckling the  
  
meercats. The original script called for him to be sober and  
  
sitting on a bench watching the elephants."  
  
(Cut to Iori)  
  
Iori-"I was really excited that June morning when Yashiro asked me if  
  
I'd like to be in their sitcom. I...always had a problem with  
  
alcohol, so I tried my best to stay away from it. But things got  
  
stressful and I turned to the bottle. No one else on the set knew  
  
this...but Heavy D!, our producer, constantly tricked me into  
  
drinking. I guess so I'd be funny, but...all those nights I can't  
  
remember...."  
  
Announcer-"The first episode wasn't yet completed and already there  
  
were problems. The three kids and Goenitz sought help where ever  
  
they could find it. And the small group of four expanded to  
  
many."  
  
(Cut to Chris)  
  
Chris-"I think...That as Heavy D! hired on more people, things got  
  
worse. There was a lot of turmoil behind the scenes. And the  
  
unseasonably warm weather didn't help."  
  
(Cut to Yashiro)  
  
Yashiro-"Probably the worst thing that happened on set was when we were  
  
shooting 'Chris Goes to School'. Iori had been drinking A LOT that  
  
day..."  
  
(Cut to Goenitz)  
  
Goenitz-"Everyone knew that Iori just HATED Kyo, but we needed him for  
  
the shoot..."  
  
(Cut to Chris)  
  
Chris-"So Iori...drunk as an ape...ripped Kyo apart!"  
  
(Cut to Shermie)  
  
Shermie-"Two words-Blood everywhere!"  
  
Announcer-"With Kyo in the hospital, they had to postpone that episode.  
  
Weather conditions and other things pushed the gang towards the  
  
edge."  
  
(Cut to Chris)  
  
Chris-"At about...Episode 5, I think I started my drug habit."  
  
(Cut to Goenitz)  
  
Goenitz-"Filled with hatred, I was possessed to write "Flaming Hatred",  
  
my tell-all book."  
  
(Cut to Shermie)  
  
Shermie-"It was sad, really... Old friends turned into enemies, and  
  
Iori was getting worse. He had an imaginary friend..."  
  
(Cut to Iori)  
  
Iori-"Somewhere mid-season...I often woke up in gutters and other  
  
strange places. Every morning I would have a killer hangover,  
  
making it damn near impossible to do a good shot. And that fellow  
  
named Cedrick kept following me trying to bum cigarettes off me."  
  
(Cut to Shermie)  
  
Shermie-"I don't know if Iori knew this, but Cedrick doesn't exist."  
  
(Cut to Iori)  
  
Iori-"You a lie! Cedrick moved to Thailand when I stopped drinking!!"  
  
Announcer-"Struggling to meet Heavy D!'s growing quota, they turned to  
  
the Capcom side."  
  
(Cut to Yashiro)  
  
Yashiro-"Ya see, our city is split by the tracks. On one side, ya got  
  
the SNK, and on the other, Capcom. We were running short on people.  
  
All the SNK people had their own lives to live and could only do  
  
guest appearances. Our Capcom choice was limited 'cause most of  
  
them only wore karate gi's 24-7."  
  
(Cut to Shermie)  
  
Shermie-"SNK and Capcom had been feuding for a long time, so we thought  
  
that maybe we could bring it to an end. Anyway, before our show  
  
aired, it was shameful to even be walking near a Capcom person.  
  
(Cut to Iori)  
  
Iori-"Late at night, Yashiro and I decided that we would draft some  
  
Capcom people...But first we had to drink some liquid courage."  
  
(Cut to Yashiro)  
  
Yashiro-"Three bottles of Vodka later, we were ready. We crossed the tracks and snuck into the Caocom convention."  
  
(Cut to Iori)  
  
Iori-"We came back with Remy and Hugo. They were cool. They didn't care  
  
where anyone came from, they also wore normal clothes...None of  
  
this karate gi crap."  
  
(Cut to Shermie)  
  
Shermie-"I was surprised about how pleasant Remy and Hugo were. They helped us a lot."  
  
Announcer-"But their peace was soon shattered. The rest of the Capcom  
  
side was angry."  
  
(Cut to Goenitz)  
  
Goenitz-"The Capcom gave us trouble. They sabotaged our sets, our  
  
shoots...everything...Those disgraceful punks. But the only Capcom  
  
people that wern't against us were Remy, Hugo, and Alex. We later  
  
rescued Alex from Hell, I mean Capcom."  
  
(Cut to Remy)  
  
Remy-"It was terrible...our old "friends" now mocked us! And it hurt.."  
  
(Cut to Hugo)  
  
Hugo-"At least five times, during the shooting of our first episode, a  
  
sniper tried to take out Remy and I."  
  
(Cut to Chris)  
  
Chris-"Our security had to drastically increase. We hired on Brian Battler,  
  
Chang, Choi, and Earthquake. Things toned down after they showed  
  
those Capcom what they could do. Hehhehheh..."  
  
(Cut to Shermie)  
  
Shermie-"Once everything was again cool around Remy and Hugo, we reached  
  
out into the ghetto and pulled out Alex."  
  
Announcer-"But even the Capcom crew had problems."  
  
(Cut to Remy)  
  
Remy-"In between shoots...I had to go back to France. For personal  
  
reasons you see...Well, one day, I had to get some stuff from the  
  
mall. Somewhere on the second floor, a gang war was raging. This  
  
I didn't know. The two gangs had everything: Guns, knives, broken  
  
glass bottles, baseball bats...But as I approached them, I realized  
  
they were just throwing insults back and forth. I had to get by  
  
them, and they started to direct their rage at me. So I kicked a  
  
guy down the escalator.  
  
(Cut to Yashiro)  
  
Yashiro-"With Remy in jail, we were in trouble. He was to be in the  
  
next scene. Shermie, being the only one who could speak French,  
  
went to France to bail him out."  
  
(Cut to Goenitz)  
  
Goenitz-"Lucky for us, K' and Maxima had a back up scene that didn't  
  
require Remy or Shermie, and it was funny as hell."  
  
(Cut to K')  
  
K'-"Remy and Shermie wouldn't be back for about two days, and our shoot  
  
was the next day. I used to write comedy scenes in high school...  
  
so I dug up one that would be relevant to the rest of the plot."  
  
(Picture of entire cast)  
  
Announcer-"With Remy rescued, all seemed well. But during the taping  
  
of the Wild Wild West episode, disaster struck."  
  
(Picture turns negative)  
  
(Cut to Iori)  
  
Iori-"Well, we were doing that bar fight scene...We had practiced it  
  
many times before until we were able to do it backwards, forwards,  
  
and upside-down...but we didn't count on...Irvine...to do what he  
  
did..."  
  
(Cut to Maxima)  
  
Maxima-"I think Irvine was just pissed because his character dies as  
  
soon as he appears. I didn't want to believe he sabotaged us at  
  
first, but he did. We were filming the fight scene and Irvine  
  
bum rushed a cabinet, the cabinet fell...(crying) it fell on me.  
  
And it broke m'leg (sniff) So we had to do a different scene.  
  
Stupid Irvine! I'm glad I took him out!! Uh...never mind..."  
  
Announcer-"And that's the story of how a group of friends started a  
  
national phenomenon."  
  
Credits Roll 


End file.
